Reflections, by Hilary

I was working after dinner tonight (still not done!), so Andy put Ethan to bed for the second night in a row (working last night too!)...

About ten minutes later, he called for Daddy, but Daddy had already been upstairs once after bedtime...so I took my turn. E greeted me at his bedroom door and asked in the sweetest voice ever, "Mommy, would you like to have a little snuggle in the rocking chair with me?" Would I ever?!

Sitting there, squeezing my little (big!) boy to pieces, rocking him in the plush green chair that I used to rock with him in his baby room...I was euphorically happy.

I think about Deb a lot. I think about the crazy moments of each evening, I think about the serene moments like the ones spent with Ethan in his rocking chair tonight...and all the moments she will never have with her baby girl.

It puts it all in perspective for me. I am stressed and overwhelmed, and I think that's still legit, but every day, whether it be good, bad or ugly, is one that I'm sure she would love to have.

There will never be another moment when I'm asked to share a "little snuggle" where I sit in that chair with him and think about all the work awaiting me back at my laptop (like I may have done a few times before 2 weeks ago)....never....because those moments are so priceless, and I'm thankful for every one of them.

And since that was really heavy....I feel I should share the conversation between me and my little Angel as I was tucking him post-"little snuggle"...

I told Ethan that he should try to sleep well, because good rest, good food and lots of liquids are what help us feel better when we are sick (colds in our house!...but only the kids so far). So he asked about the shot with medicine and asked if that helped get the yucky stuff out (he got the first round of H1N1 last week...which I decided to refer to as a "little pinch of medicine" instead of a shot, but he's on to me now)...and I said that the shot was for really yucky stuff, but there wasn't much we could do for a cold except to rest, and eat and drink well. He listed off his favorite juices that he would drink lots of to help him feel better. And I mentioned some healthy foods that he could eat as well. Then he threw in a random observation, "And suckers are really tasty?"....Um, sure.

So, I tucked him in and said I love you as I was closing the door so it was open just a crack. He replied, "I love you too. Thanks for talking about healthy food with me". Oh my gosh, this kid is just too funny. Love him.